Baby Sitting World

Most of us have witnessed this scenario before….. a child receives a gift for a birthday, holiday, etc.,  and after ripping off the paper and ribbon, and removing it from the box, the child puts the gift aside and plays with the paper, ribbon, and box!   Children LOVE boxes!

If you have the room to store them, consider saving boxes of all sizes.  Take them out on a rainy day or after children get bored with the toys in their toybox.  They are guaranteed to have a ball playing with them.   Babysitters:  you too can collect boxes and bring them along babysitting to provide hours of fun for the children.  While you probably wouldn’t drag a refrigerator box down the street to your client’s home, you might be able to carry several smaller boxes, especially if they can fit one inside of the other.

• Shirt boxes don’t hold up very well, but they can still be used to cut up for picture frames or other crafts. 
• Small jewelry boxes are great for tiny treasures, especially if they are lined jewelry boxes as opposed to cardboard.  But, kids love the small cardboard ones as well!
• Shoe sized boxes are great for storing crayons and markers and other small toys, but are also great for making dioramas and houses for tiny dolls or stuffed animals. 
• Then, of course, if you have a box large enough for a child to fit in, then the ideas are endless.  Depending on the size of the box, it can be anything from a shipping crate delivering a wild animal to a local zoo, to a club house complete with windows and doors.

The boxes alone are fun enough, but you can also give the children markers or crayons, and any other craft items to decorate them. Let their imaginations run wild transforming the boxes into anything they can dream up!  Let the children decide what to create but offer suggestions to help spark their imaginations if they seem to be at a loss for ideas.

Always assist children if they want holes or flaps cut in the cardboard.  Depending on how thick it is, cardboard can be difficult to cut and a child could easily injure himself.

Parents:  Before you throw away boxes to toys or games, if you won’t be using them for the children to play with, consider whether or not it would make a good storage container for the toy when it is not in use.  Boxes are much easier to stack and store than the toy itself.  It also helps to keep parts, pieces, and instructions all in one place.

Lisa McLellan, Child Care Expert

Have you ever thought about the benefits of having your baby-sitter’s email address if you’re a parent, or your client’s email address if you are a babysitter?  Well there are benefits to both parties. 

If you are a parent, the more methods of communication you have available to your for your sitter, the better.  Even if you have the baby sitter’s home phone number and her cell phone number, her email address may still be helpful. 

I can remember several times that I kept meaning to call the babysitter to schedule her for a particular event, but I would have so much going on everyday that I would keep forgetting.  It usually happened that I would finally remember when it was too late at night to call.  I was never comfortable leaving messages on answering machines, because so often they were picked up by other family members and deleted and the sitter never knew I called.  Many times I was unable to go to an event because I was waiting for a sitter to call me back when she never even received the message that I called.

Email is great if your sitter uses it and checks it frequently.  You can still call but also send a confirmation email with start time for the night and other details.  Then, if you remember at 11:00 at night that you were supposed to call the babysitter, you can just send her an email that won’t disturb her or her family.

If you are a babysitter, it would also be a good idea for you to have your client’s email address.  One great reason for this, is because if you needed to discuss something or ask something without the kids hearing you this is the perfect solution.  For example, if you wanted to take the kids out for an ice cream and you asked the parents when you arrived at their home in the presence of the children, there may be some major meltdowns or tantrums if the parents say no.  I’m sure the parents wouldn’t be thrilled to deal with this sort of situation right before they head out for the night.

Always confirm dates and times with your client or sitter as the date approaches, especially if you’ve booked it more than a week in advance.  A telephone call is quick and easy.  But if you don’t connect with the person you are calling, leave a message and then follow up with a text or email to be sure they got the message.  Using two forms of communication and confirming plans is a smart idea.

Lisa McLellan, Child Care Expert

This situation is nothing new and it is far from rare or unusual.  When I was just a little girl my mother would take care of other people’s children on occasion for extra money.  There was one little girl named May that was just a toddler when my mom started caring for her.  May’s mom was a single parent and worked full time so May was like one of the family; she was with us more than she was with her own mom.  It wasn’t long before she started calling my mother “mama” and not wanting to go home with her mother in the evening.

One day May got really sick.  She woke up in the night with a fever and was calling for my mom.  Whenever her mother would try to pick her up or comfort her, May would just scream “No!” and cry even harder for my mom.  It had to be heartbreaking for her mother. 

I had a similar situation when I had my daycare.  Only one of the children was with me full time (approximately 50 hours per week).  Her name was Bella and she came to me at about a year old.  I treated all the children like they were my own.  I just loved them all.  Bella wasn’t walking yet when I started taking care of her, so I carried her around a lot.  She had hardly any hair and I found myself kissing her head and cheeks all day without even thinking about it.  I apologized to the parents, but they told me they didn’t mind at all.  In fact, they said that they enjoyed seeing the light traces of lipstick all over her head and the smell of my hand lotion all over her because they knew she was being cuddled and loved all day.  And she was!

After a few months, Bella began calling me “Mama” and crying when her mother or father came to pick her up at the end of the day.  It broke my heart.  I couldn’t even imagine how her mother felt.  My husband and I were invited to a Christmas party at their house that year.  Bella followed me around and kept putting her arms up to me to pick her up.  I automatically scooped her up and sat her on my hip while I chatted with other guests.  Her mother would come over and take her from me saying things like, “oh you’re not on the clock now, you don’t have to do that,” or “enjoy yourself, I’ll take her.”   As she would wisk her away, Bella would lean toward me with her arms out and start to cry.  As soon as her mother put her down she’d run to me again.  

I knew that Bella’s mother was taking her from me because it was somewhat painful to see her baby so attached to someone else, and I didn’t blame her.  But, I felt so sad for little Bella who was confused about who her “real mommy” was, and just wanted to be with the person who spent all day with her, playing with her, feeding her, teaching her, cuddling her, and loving her.

I finally asked her mom one day, “What would you like me to do?  I know it must be hard for you when Bella cries for me when you try to take her from me.  If you want, I can stop treating her like my own child and try to switch to more of a teacher – student relationship.  What would be harder for you, if she cries when you drop her off or if she cries when you pick her up?  Only you can decide.”  I hoped she  wouldn’t ask me to treat Bella differently.  I loved her so much and I find it difficult to hide my affection.

Although this is a very difficult situation to deal with, parents should realize that it is just a stage, and typically only lasts a few months.  Many children will also get to a point where they suddenly throw fits, cry, and scream when they are left with the nanny or daycare provider that they once adored.   Parents shouldn’t be too quick to jump to the conclusion that the child is being abused or neglected.  Certainly, they should investigate the possibility to rule out abuse.  But some parents have pulled their children out of their daycare immediately when the child exhibits this behavior, only to find that the child does the same thing at the new daycare.  This also is usually just a stage.

Many parents feel they have no choice when it comes to daycare.  They often have bought houses, cars, etc. and to stop working outside of the home once they have a child would be devastating to them financially.  Staying home with your baby or having a full time child care provider IS a matter of personal preference, priorities, and/or opinion.  There is no right or wrong.  Everybody has to do what is right for them.  The decision is not usually an easy one but it is your decision to make.

Please see my more recent post for What to do When Baby Prefers the Babysitter or Nanny.

Lisa McLellan, Child Care Expert

Well it is Halloween night and we are all in from trick or treating unless you live on the other side of the country like Steve Chambers, then you’ve probably just set out on your happy haunts!  If you are a parent, do you ever “raid” the candy bag after the kids go to bed?  Do the kids share it with their friends or eat it all themselves?   Have you ever noticed a dent in the candy stash after the babysitter has been there?  Ok, I’m just being silly here, but seriously most kids have quite a large booty from trick or treating and somebody’s going to eat it!

I hope you all had a wonderful Halloween if you celebrate it!  I had a very nice evening with Lady Gaga and Indiana Jones until they both ditched me to go trick or treating with friends!   They’re in bed now, so I’m off to raid their bags….. kidding!  They’ve already given me all the candy they don’t like.  That should satisfy my sweet tooth for a while!

Happy Halloween!

So maybe it’s a rainy day and you’ve run out of things to do with your kids or the kids you are babysitting.  Well, you have books don’t you?  Sure you can read them a few stories, but what else can you do with books?

• You read and let the children act out the story.  Let them get dressed in costumes and find props.  It will be the children’s theatre production of the century!
• Let the children read to you.
• You read and let the children draw what they see in their head while you read the story. 
• They can each make several pictures while you read the story, then you can staple them all together and make your own book.
• If the children are old enough to read, everybody takes turns reading a page each.
• Let the children read, and you act out the story. They always love this, especially if you are dramatic!
• If they can’t read yet but can recognize letters, ask them to see how many words they can find on a page that start with a particular letter.
• If the children are too young to recognize letters, ask them to find shapes or colors in the pictures.
• Babysitters: bring along a book the children haven’t seen or heard before.  If they are too young to read, have them look at the pictures and make up the story from what they see in the pictures.  (You might want to have a video camera or recorder set up for this.)
• If you can find some books the children have not read before, try reading it almost to the end then have each child make up an ending or guess what the real ending will be.
• If all else fails – stack the books like blocks and build a castle!

If you have any more ideas for what to do with books – please feel free to share them!

Lisa McLellan, Child Care Expert

I was asked by Rob Northrup what I thought about the issue of socialization with regards to Pre-K and homeschooling etc.  Hmmmm… ok, here it is – my opinion… 

Let me start with my personal experience.  When my daughter was born I started a daycare in my home so that I could earn money but still be with my baby.  I thought this was the perfect set up.  However, I didn’t really research it well and so I ran into a few problems.  First, I was open too many hours.  The first child was dropped off between 5:00 and 5:30a.m. and the last one left between 6:00 and 6:45p.m.  Next, I had 4 to 6 children at my daycare most of the time so I couldn’t take them anywhere.  With a passenger side air bag and only 3 seats in the back, it was rare that we went on field trips.  Also, because I was busy caring for the children all day long, I stayed in most weekends to clean the house.

The result of all this was that my daughter rarely left the house, and although she saw a few kids everyday, they were the same few kids each day, and they were within the confines of our home.  When we would finally leave the house to go for a walk on a weekend or go to the mall, or even a family function, my daughter would be afraid of everybody.  I remember many times pushing her in a stroller through the mall and people stopping to say something like, “Oh what a beautiful baby.”  I dreaded this, because no sooner would the words pass their lips then my daughter would start screaming “NOOOOOOO” at the top of her lungs and hide her face in her hands.  It was more than embarrassing.  At family functions when an aunt, uncle, cousin, or grandparent would try to pick her up to hug and kiss her or even just try to talk to her, they would get the same screaming response.

I had to purposely take her to busy shopping centers or at least up to the store starting with once a week and working up to once a day to get her used to people.   I’m not sure what would’ve happened if I didn’t purposely expose her to lots of different people everyday.  But what did happen, was by 2 1/2 years old she was ready for an audience.  I signed her up for dance class not sure how she’d respond to being dropped off for an hour and being left there (parents weren’t allowed to stay).  So I kept telling her how she would learn a dance with a bunch of other little girls, then get a beautiful costume and perform on stage, then everyone would clap for her.  The first day we walked into dance class she looked around then threw herself on the floor crying.  I asked her what was wrong assuming that she was upset because she didnt’ know anyone.  Her response was, “THERE ISN’T ANY STAGE!”

I think that the nature/nurture thing comes into play as well.  Children are born with a personality and may be introverts or extroverts whether they are home-schooled or attend preschool and public schools.  I feel that they all find their way eventually.  I think some may tend to be shy or very out going but I wouldn’t be quick to point blame.  Had I gone back to work and put my baby in daycare, she would probably have been used to people and interacted well  without my conscious effort of bringing her out everyday and it would’ve been a lot easier on me.  But, if I kept her in my house and continued with the daycare business, she would eventually have gone to school and I think she would have caught up on the socialization scale on her own after a while.

I don’t personally know anyone who has been home schooled, but from what I hear, home schooled children get their socialization piece by taking part in activities and sports, and playing with other children when those children get home from school and on weekends.

I do babysit for several different families that have full time nannies during the day.   The children in these families do tend to seem more shy when they are outside of their home than the ones who have always been in daycare.  One other difference that I’ve noticed is that the children cared for by a nanny all day, tend to talk more like little adults and use mannerisms and expressions that are very adult-like. 

My opinion is that in the long run whether a child is introverted or extroverted has more to do with  the personality the child was born with and will only vary slightly due to whether or not their socialization took place early in childhood or later.  I would love to hear other people’s experiences or thoughts on this.

Lisa McLellan, Child Care Expert

I’m sure that I have mentioned in the past that one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever heard related to children was, “Never help a child until he asks for your help.”   I also remember telling the story of how I went to my son’s kindergarten class one day to help make “gingerbread” houses.   There were about 18 kids and one parent or adult with each child.  Those parents sure did make some beautiful gingerbread houses!   Oh, what, the parents were only supposed to “help?”  I could actually hear children saying things like, “Dad, now can I have a turn?”  And, “Mom, I said I don’t want to use M&Ms for that, please can we use colored marshmallows?”  I think there was a little too much “helping” going on.

Another “interruption” in their children’s learning that parents often partake in, is doing too much for them.  I stand guilty as charged.  I simply continued to follow the routine as my children got older.  I would  wake my  son for school, pick out his clothes, get his breakfast, tell him what type of jacket to wear, remind him to pack a snack, etc.  It’s no wonder that now he’ll be sitting on the sofa watching television and I’ll be busy working on the computer and he’ll ask me to get him a snack.  It’s my own fault – I’ve trained him that he’s not capable and I’ll  handle everything.  Now, it is taking a conscious effort to make him more independent and teach him to make his own decisions and to handle things himself.

I know I’m not alone in this.  There are plenty of parents out there who have done the same thing.  Some may have done it for different reasons, but nevertheless, there are still many of us “over-helpers” out their.  Now if you are a babysitter or nanny, the parents may greatly appreciate you making the children more independent by teaching them to do things on their own and not helping until the child asks for help.  But, the parents  may also feel like they want their children to do everything their way for as long as they’re living under the parent’s roof.  If this is the case, you may be expected to continue to pick out clothes, fetch snacks, make beds, and pick up toys until further notice!

Encourage children to make choices, to attempt finding things on their own before shouting for help, and to try, and fail until they succeed.  They may not thank you now, but someday they will!

Lisa McLellan, Child Care Expert

Many times it is younger girls that form babysitting clubs, but this is also a great idea for older girls as well.  A babysitting club is usually a group of 3 or 4 girls that all are very willing and able to babysit.  They have all agreed to cover for one another if one has a babysitting assignment but needs to cancel due to a family, school, or other important commitment.  It also works well when parents are going out with other couples who also have children and they want to combine babysitting.  Five or six kids can be a lot for one young babysitter.

In a babysitting club, often times there is one girl that takes the calls.  As each girl gets a babysitting job, her name goes to the bottom of the list.  The next call that comes in goes to the girl at the top of the list and then her name goes to the bottom so that the jobs are divided up evenly.   In a less formal babysitting club, the girls each have a family that they babysit for most often unless they are unable, and then another girl in the group will cover for her.

The benefit to parents of using a babysitting club is obvious, they can pretty much count on having a sitter when they need one even if their sitter cancels.  The benefit to the babysitters is that they may end up getting more jobs because parents will like the idea of knowing they are almost guaranteed a sitter and hire the club as opposed to a single babysitter.

Lisa McLellan, Child Care Expert

Most babysitting courses (Red Cross included) will train babysitters as young as 11 years old.  Some parents may gasp in horror at the thought of hiring a babysitter of this age, while others remember babysitting at that age themselves.  I was the youngest of 6 children, and so I couldn’t wait to be the one in charge.  I started babysitting at age 10 and took it very seriously.  By eleven, I was proficient at changing diapers, feeding infants, and getting babies to sleep. 

Not every eleven year old will be an excellent babysitter though they may really want to be.  Some, though they are great with the kids, may be frightened at night after they’ve put the kids to bed.  Others, though they are responsible and mature, may just be too small and not physically able to carry a baby or toddler, or be able to lift them out of their cribs.  These are the sitters that make excellent “mother’s helpers!”

A “mother’s helper” is a younger or inexperienced babysitter that helps out a mother by taking care of the children while the mother is at home. This allows the mother to take care of  housekeeping, projects, or anything else that would prevent her from keeping a close eye on the children.   She may even be able to run out to do a couple of quick errands. 

The benefit to the mother of hiring a mother’s helper, is that a mother’s helper is often paid less than a typical sitter because the mother is home and still may need to step in from time to time to help out.  Also, the mother gets to sort of “test drive” the future sitter.  She can see if the children like her and if she may be right for their family with a little more experience or when she’s a bit older.  Also, if the mother decides that the mother’s helper would be a great future babysitter, she can train her herself so that the sitter will handle things exactly the way she wants.

There are benefits to the mother’s helper as well.  Even though she is working for a reduced rate, she’s getting on-the-job training.  Plus, if the family eventually hires her to babysit, she is already familiar with the kids, knows where everything is, and understands how the family likes things done.  It typically is a win-win situation.

Lisa McLellan, Child Care Expert

Babysitting Services, Babysitters, Nannies, Au-pairs

Wow, it is October already!  And what fun filled holiday happens at the end of this month?  Why, Halloween of course! (like you didn’t know!) Not only is this an evening full of fun, but depending on what day of the week it falls on, it could be a whole week of fun with Halloween parties and all.  Well, I have a little tip for you to make the fun go on and on.

When Halloween is all over, most stores start marking all the merchandise way down to clear it out quickly and make room for the Christmas merchandise.  Many costume stores will only have small sales if any because they rent and sell costumes and props all year long.  But, department stores, large grocery stores, and any other store that carries costumes and supplies will be slashing prices right after Halloween.  So maybe now you’re thinking “and your point is……?”

My point is that you should take advantage of the huge discounts on the costumes and accessories and consider buying them as birthday or holiday gifts!  Most kids LOVE to play dress up and would be thrilled to open a box filled with new dress-up clothes.  The dollar store near our house had cardboard boxes designed to look like treasure chests.  I bought one and filled it with costumes I had purchased for 75% off.  There was a pirate, ninja, member of the SWAT team, and Harry Potter costume complete with accessories.  It was my nephew’s favorite Christmas present that year.

Babysitters, remember that you can take advantage of this idea as well by purchasing a few costumes on clearance and bringing them along to entertain the children you babysit for.  If you have a babysitting bag or babysitter’s survival kit, then this would be an excellent addition!

Lisa McLellan, Child Care Expert