Baby Sitting World

Some holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving are generally “family holidays” where the children go wherever the parents go, so a babysitter is rarely needed.  But, other holidays like New Years Eve and Valentines Day put sitters in high demand.  If you are a babysitter and you frequently babysit for more than one family, then plan your babysitting on holidays in advance.   You can and should  get paid a higher rate on New Years Eve and Valentines Day especially.

If you are a sitter on the younger side and don’t have a boyfriend or significant other yet, then you may not be concerned about babysitting on these two holidays in particular.  But, you should still be able to charge holiday rates even though you aren’t giving up a night out.  The holiday rate is up to you.  But if it is too high, nobody will hire you. 

You could probably charge anywhere from a couple of dollars more per hour to double your regular rate of pay depending on where you live.  A babysitter in New York City will more than likely be able to get several times her regular pay on New Years Eve, while a sitter who lives in a small quiet town far from any major city might only receive a couple of dollars extra per hour.

In an earlier post, I mentioned that having an email connection with the parents you babysit for is important.  This is one reason that it may be helpful to have email addresses.  A couple of months before a holiday, you could send out an email to all the people who you generally babysit for, telling them about your holiday rates.  This will also prompt parents to call and book you early so you can plan your schedule.

Another idea is to make up a flier ahead of time to give to new clients.  When parents meet with you for an interview or even if they didn’t interview you and just have you come to babysit, it would be helpful if you had a flier to give them.  It could include your regular and holiday rates, your availability, your experience, and any other pertinent information.  This may be a big help for you if you are uncomfortable discussing how much you would like to get paid. 

If you are an excellent sitter, be sure you get paid what you’re worth.  Check out what other babysitters in your area get paid when figuring out your rates, by checking out an online babysitting rate calculator, checking the ads in the classifieds, or by just asking friends or people you know that babysit or hire babysitters for their own kids.  Remember that rates can vary greatly from town to town.

Lisa McLellan, Child Care Expert

Have you ever thought about the benefits of having your baby-sitter’s email address if you’re a parent, or your client’s email address if you are a babysitter?  Well there are benefits to both parties. 

If you are a parent, the more methods of communication you have available to your for your sitter, the better.  Even if you have the baby sitter’s home phone number and her cell phone number, her email address may still be helpful. 

I can remember several times that I kept meaning to call the babysitter to schedule her for a particular event, but I would have so much going on everyday that I would keep forgetting.  It usually happened that I would finally remember when it was too late at night to call.  I was never comfortable leaving messages on answering machines, because so often they were picked up by other family members and deleted and the sitter never knew I called.  Many times I was unable to go to an event because I was waiting for a sitter to call me back when she never even received the message that I called.

Email is great if your sitter uses it and checks it frequently.  You can still call but also send a confirmation email with start time for the night and other details.  Then, if you remember at 11:00 at night that you were supposed to call the babysitter, you can just send her an email that won’t disturb her or her family.

If you are a babysitter, it would also be a good idea for you to have your client’s email address.  One great reason for this, is because if you needed to discuss something or ask something without the kids hearing you this is the perfect solution.  For example, if you wanted to take the kids out for an ice cream and you asked the parents when you arrived at their home in the presence of the children, there may be some major meltdowns or tantrums if the parents say no.  I’m sure the parents wouldn’t be thrilled to deal with this sort of situation right before they head out for the night.

Always confirm dates and times with your client or sitter as the date approaches, especially if you’ve booked it more than a week in advance.  A telephone call is quick and easy.  But if you don’t connect with the person you are calling, leave a message and then follow up with a text or email to be sure they got the message.  Using two forms of communication and confirming plans is a smart idea.

Lisa McLellan, Child Care Expert

Many children have a security blanket or comfort item – something they sleep with or carry around.  For most, it is a blanket, for many it is a stuffed animal, but there are countless other items that children treasure. 

It may be difficult for a babysitter to understand the importance of a comfort item.  Perhaps she never had one as a child, or maybe she doesn’t remember the importance of it and how it made her feel.  Parents usually understand completely and return it to the child’s bed every time they find it lying around the house so that it is sure to be where they need it at bedtime.

If a child you babysit for has a comfort item that he takes to bed every night and the parents have forgotten to locate it for you before they left, you should make it the first order of business.  Take the time early in the evening to perform a “search and rescue mission” for the blankie or whatever it is.  Don’t wait until it is bedtime when the child is tired and cranky and you might be a little tired and cranky yourself.  This will make bedtime go much more smoothly. 

Avoid saying things like, “It’s just a blanket.  Go to sleep; you can find it in the morning!”  Yes, to all of us, it is JUST a blanket, but to the child who holds it dear to his heart, it is essential.

The same holds true for pacifiers.  If you are babysitting a baby who needs his pacifier to fall asleep, make sure you locate it as soon as you arrive or you may wish you didn’t have ears if you can’t find it at bedtime!

Weaning children off of comfort items is up to the parents.  I know people who took their blankies to college with them!  Though you are acting in the parents place when you are babysitting, you shouldn’t ever change household rules or take it upon yourself to try to wean a child off of a pacifier, bottle, comfort item, etc. unless the parents ask you to.  Sometimes, the parents need the comfort item more than the child!

Lisa McLellan, Child Care Expert

I was checking out a couple of online babysitting services the other day and I noticed something that I thought was interesting.  First of all, most babysitters posted a picture of themselves (this is a really good idea) but some only posted a profile.  Even though everybody knows that “you can’t judge a book by its cover” people still want to see a face when searching for a child care provider.  Personally, I would look at all the sitters with photos first and would only look at the profiles without photos if I couldn’t find the type of sitter I was looking for in the group with photos.

Next, if you do plan on posting a photo with your profile on an online babysitting service’s website, please post an appropriate photo.  Many of the photos I saw were great.  They were photos of the babysitter smiling and usually holding a child.  Those photos to me said, “Hi, I babysit and I love it!”  This is the message you want to send. 

 Then I came across a photo with two girls in it.  The first problem was that you couldn’t tell from the photo which one was the babysitter described in the profile.  The second problem was that the girls in the picture were making faces trying to look cool, sexy, or whatever, and holding up their fingers giving the peace sign.  The photo appeared to have been from someone’s profile on a social networking site.  Attention Babysitters – this is NOT the type of photo you want to post on a babysitting services website.

While I was on these sites, I checked out the “Pet Sitter” sections.  I found it strange that there appeared to be a large number of teenage looking mothers on these sites wanting to find work as pet sitters.  I thought to myself, “why are these young girls posting photos of themselves with their babies on their profiles?  Could it be that they are trying to show that they have a child so if they are capable of caring for a child then they can certainly take care of your pet?  Could it be that they hope people will hire them figuring they really need the money because they have a baby to support?”   

It wasn’t until several hours later when I was still running it through my head that I figured it out.  These girls were babysitters and just used the same photo on their pet sitting profile as they did on their babysitting profile.  Attention Babysitters:  don’t do this!  If the site allows you to upload a different photo with each profile whether it is for babysitting, pet sitting, tutoring, or elder care, take advantage and use different photos.  If it is a tutoring profile you’ve posted, you might want to post either just a picture of yourself or a picture of you tutoring a school-aged child.  For pet sitting, again you can post a picture of just yourself, or a picture of you holding a puppy, having a dog give you his paw, you with a bird sitting on your shoulder, etc.   You get the idea!

If you don’t have the time to upload several different pictures, one for each profile, then use one photo for all of them but it should be a photo of  just you, preferably a head shot, smiling, and in focus.  Take a good look at your picture before you post it and be sure it is sending the message you meant to send!

Wishing you the best of luck!

Lisa McLellan, Child Care Expert

This situation is nothing new and it is far from rare or unusual.  When I was just a little girl my mother would take care of other people’s children on occasion for extra money.  There was one little girl named May that was just a toddler when my mom started caring for her.  May’s mom was a single parent and worked full time so May was like one of the family; she was with us more than she was with her own mom.  It wasn’t long before she started calling my mother “mama” and not wanting to go home with her mother in the evening.

One day May got really sick.  She woke up in the night with a fever and was calling for my mom.  Whenever her mother would try to pick her up or comfort her, May would just scream “No!” and cry even harder for my mom.  It had to be heartbreaking for her mother. 

I had a similar situation when I had my daycare.  Only one of the children was with me full time (approximately 50 hours per week).  Her name was Bella and she came to me at about a year old.  I treated all the children like they were my own.  I just loved them all.  Bella wasn’t walking yet when I started taking care of her, so I carried her around a lot.  She had hardly any hair and I found myself kissing her head and cheeks all day without even thinking about it.  I apologized to the parents, but they told me they didn’t mind at all.  In fact, they said that they enjoyed seeing the light traces of lipstick all over her head and the smell of my hand lotion all over her because they knew she was being cuddled and loved all day.  And she was!

After a few months, Bella began calling me “Mama” and crying when her mother or father came to pick her up at the end of the day.  It broke my heart.  I couldn’t even imagine how her mother felt.  My husband and I were invited to a Christmas party at their house that year.  Bella followed me around and kept putting her arms up to me to pick her up.  I automatically scooped her up and sat her on my hip while I chatted with other guests.  Her mother would come over and take her from me saying things like, “oh you’re not on the clock now, you don’t have to do that,” or “enjoy yourself, I’ll take her.”   As she would wisk her away, Bella would lean toward me with her arms out and start to cry.  As soon as her mother put her down she’d run to me again.  

I knew that Bella’s mother was taking her from me because it was somewhat painful to see her baby so attached to someone else, and I didn’t blame her.  But, I felt so sad for little Bella who was confused about who her “real mommy” was, and just wanted to be with the person who spent all day with her, playing with her, feeding her, teaching her, cuddling her, and loving her.

I finally asked her mom one day, “What would you like me to do?  I know it must be hard for you when Bella cries for me when you try to take her from me.  If you want, I can stop treating her like my own child and try to switch to more of a teacher – student relationship.  What would be harder for you, if she cries when you drop her off or if she cries when you pick her up?  Only you can decide.”  I hoped she  wouldn’t ask me to treat Bella differently.  I loved her so much and I find it difficult to hide my affection.

Although this is a very difficult situation to deal with, parents should realize that it is just a stage, and typically only lasts a few months.  Many children will also get to a point where they suddenly throw fits, cry, and scream when they are left with the nanny or daycare provider that they once adored.   Parents shouldn’t be too quick to jump to the conclusion that the child is being abused or neglected.  Certainly, they should investigate the possibility to rule out abuse.  But some parents have pulled their children out of their daycare immediately when the child exhibits this behavior, only to find that the child does the same thing at the new daycare.  This also is usually just a stage.

Many parents feel they have no choice when it comes to daycare.  They often have bought houses, cars, etc. and to stop working outside of the home once they have a child would be devastating to them financially.  Staying home with your baby or having a full time child care provider IS a matter of personal preference, priorities, and/or opinion.  There is no right or wrong.  Everybody has to do what is right for them.  The decision is not usually an easy one but it is your decision to make.

Please see my more recent post for What to do When Baby Prefers the Babysitter or Nanny.

Lisa McLellan, Child Care Expert

Keeping a checklist for your babysitter on your computer is a good idea.  Skim over it each time a sitter comes, update it if necessary, and print a copy if changes were made.  Having a checklist will prevent you from forgetting to give the babysitter all the necessary information.  Here are some ideas for information to include on your list.

• If it is daytime, list who the children are allowed to play with and whether or not they are allowed to play in your house or at the friend’s house.
• Emergency telephone numbers, parent’s cell phone numbers, neighbor and/or relatives numbers are a must.
• Should the sitter answer the telephone or let the answering machine pick up?
• Appropriate discipline (always excluding corporal punishment)
• Rules for telephone and computer usage
• Appropriate television viewing, including stations they are allowed to watch, movies that are acceptable, and amount of time the children are allowed to watch TV
• Meal times, appropriate snacks, number of snacks, food allergies, and which rooms food is allowed to be eaten in
• Bedtime, night time routines, whether or not children need assistance brushing their teeth, and where they are allowed to sleep
• Whether or not friends are allowed to accompany the babysitter
• Where the flashlight and first aid kit is kept
• If you have a pool, let the sitter know whether or not the children will be allowed to use it and what the rules are regarding it.
• If you have any appliances that the sitter may need (for example a microwave), leave instructions on how to use them. 
• Is the babysitter allowed to adjust the heat or air conditioning?  If so, leave instructions for temperature limits and how to adjust the thermostat if it isn’t a simple dial.
• Is the sitter allowed to sleep if you are out late and the children are sleeping?
• If your home has an alarm or security system, leave instructions and also show the sitter how to turn it on or off.
• Don’t forget explicit instructions for medications if any of  the children are ill or take medications regularly.
• Anything to do with pets such as whether or not they can be let out and what treats they can be fed

This may seem like an awful lot of information, but if you keep a copy of the list on a desk or taped inside a cabinet door, the sitter will always have all the necessary information.  And if you keep a copy of it on your computer, it will be simple to update.  When ever you have a new sitter, review the information with her first in case some of the instructions are  unclear to her.  Instructions that may seem so clear to one person can be totally confusing to another.   Best of luck with your babysitters.

Lisa McLellan, Child Care Expert