Baby Sitting World

I got pretty upset this morning as I read an article on the web about how the state of Michigan is trying to ban a woman from caring for her friends’ kids.  She is doing her friends a favor by taking care of their children for about an hour in the morning before they go to school.  This care is enabling the other moms to go to work.  The woman isn’t even accepting money, she’s just being a good friend and neighbor!  She and her friends often babysit/care for each other’s children at night or on weekends for a little while.

This kind of care is exactly what we are talking about when we talk about Babysitting co-ops.  This is how lots of parents are surviving the recession.  In some areas, child care costs can be astronomical.  The costs can be so high that the weekly bill often cancels out one parent’s salary.  These parents explain that even though their take home pay is almost nothing after paying child care expenses, they continue to work outside of the home for the benefits provided by their employer - especially medical insurance.

This is a case where I feel the law is just simply being mistranslated.  I understand that laws like these are there to protect children, and prevent people from running an unlicensed daycare.  I do feel that even a family daycare needs to be licensed.  When I ran a daycare in my home, a woman came out from the licensing board to do an inspection.  She pointed out little things that could be dangerous that I just didn’t think of.  There were several changes and adjustments I had to make to my house and my back yard for the safety of the children.  I was very thankful for this, because I would much rather make the changes than have a child injured while in my care.

I hope that this story I read this morning doesn’t deter others from starting a babysitting co-op or even just doing a favor for friends.  Having your child cared for by someone you know and trust is priceless!

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Services, Babysitters, Nannies, Au-pairs

Many people believe that their ideas and opinions are “right,” when in fact, they are just that – ideas and opinions.  But, the ideas, opinions, or rules about how things should be done in a particular family’s home are what is “right” under their roof.  Babysitters should always act as the parents would like them to while taking care of their children (unless it involves neglect or abuse). 

For example,when you were little, if you didn’t like what was for dinner, maybe your parents didn’t make you eat it, but they also didn’t give you anything else all evening so you went to bed hungry.  If you are babysitting for a client and one of the 3 kids doesn’t like what’s for dinner, you may think that the “right” thing to do is not to force the child to eat but let her go to bed hungry, because that was how you were brought up.  But, in this family, the rules may be different.  When one of the children really doesn’t like what’s for dinner, the parents might cook that child something different for dinner, because they believe that it’s healthier for the child to eat something than go to bed hungry.

I’m not saying either of these methods is right or wrong.  The issue here is how should the babysitter handle it.  Should she do what she believes is “right” or what the parents would want her to do?  The answer is, so long as it isn’t abusive, the sitter should do what the parents would do.  After all, she is getting paid to care for the children as the parents would in their absence.

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Services, Babysitters, Nannies, Au-pairs

For those of you reading my blog who have suggested that I create an eBook, I just wanted to let you in on a little secret…… I already have!!!  It is titled “Seven Things to Know Before You Hire That Babysitter.”  It has been offered for free on my website for the last two years.  As a matter of fact, it was stolen as well!  Yes.  I guess I should be flattered that someone thought it was that good that they plagiarized the heck out of it and they are selling it on the internet!!!  But, I’m not.  I’m steaming mad!

I offered the book for free because I thought it was really important information for parents to have.  I have experienced several “babysitting nightmares” and I wanted to prevent anyone else from experiencing the same things.  The eBook is a guide to choosing the best possible child care provider for your family.  There are lots of reminders about things to consider and questions to ask the potential sitter.  There are even sample questionnaires and forms at the back and information on how to start your own babysitting co-operative.

I have to say – I don’t believe I left any stone unturned in that book!  It is 30+ years of experience in child care talking.  And it’s FREE!

Babysitting is a job and should be treated like one.  Just as you would go to work dressed appropriately, you need to go babysitting dressed appropriately.  The only time you would probably need to go babysitting dressed up is if you were taking the children out to a special event.  Otherwise, leave the heels and dressy clothes at home.  Hopefully, you will be playing with the children, doing crafts with them, or even just reading books or coloring.  None of these activities require fancy clothes.  Actually, you could end up ruining your fancy clothes by spilling paint on them or ripping something while squeezing into a small space during a game of hide-n-seek!

If you are caring for babies or toddlers, you may want to leave ALL of your jewelry at home.  In case you haven’t noticed, most babies love shiny things, they are fast, and they have the tightest grips you can imagine.  This is a bad combination for the sitter wearing  jewelry.  Your necklace can be snatched from your neck in about .3 seconds!  Earrings can be literally ripped out of your ears and you may actually need plastic surgery to repair them properly if it tears down through the earlobe.

Not only can your jewelry harm you, but you can hurt the child accidentally as well.  Rings with any sort or stone or raised surface can scratch or cut a child.  Also, if you are wearing a shirt with any type of zipper or “bling” attached to it, it could scrape an infant since you should hold an infant against your body most times.

Take a quick look in the mirror before you head out to babysit.  Make sure your shirt doesn’t have any inappropriate pictures or sayings on it,  remove jewelry if you’re going to be caring for babies or toddlers, and make sure your clothes can survive arts and crafts and a good game of hide-n-seek!

Lisa McLellan

Child Care Expert

Babysitting Services

Once the children were in bed, I never cared if the babysitter talked on the phone, watched television, or played on the computer – that is, as long as the computer she was playing on was her own!  I have had some sitters that turned out to be, shall we say, “Not so great!”  I’m glad that we had the rule in place that the computer was off limits for the children as well as the babysitter while we weren’t home.

Even though a few of my babysitters were just absolutely wonderful girls, I still didn’t want them using our computer.  Much of our personal and financial  information was stored on our PC.  Not that I would have thought that any of those girls would try to access our information, but what happens when they are just checking email or playing on face-book and accidentally download a virus? 

If a babysitter brought along her own laptop and it had wireless capabilities, I always let her use our internet service.  But, I made it clear that I didn’t want the laptop on until after the children were in bed.  I had a friend who let her nanny use her computer.  She loved this particular nanny.  It started out that the nanny would just check email once in the morning and then only while the children were napping.  Gradually, she began logging on several times during the day for long periods of time and would tell the children to go and play because she was busy.  That nanny was very quickly out of a job.

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Services, Babysitters, Nannies, and Au-pairs

One quick tip for parents and babysitters is to decide on the sitter’s first night of duty if she should answer the telephone or let the answering machine take the call.  This may seem a little trivial or even almost ridiculous to worry about, but imagine these situations:

• You are waiting for a very important call from the doctor, but you assume since he hadn’t called by 5:00 p.m. then he won’t call until tomorrow.  You leave and never discuss answering the phone with the sitter.  At 6:00 p.m. the babysitter is giving the kids dinner when one knocks over a glass of milk.  The glass breaks and the sitter is trying to keep the kids in their seats and clean up the broken glass and milk.  Just then, the phone rings.  The sitter dashes to the phone, answers it with one hand while still cleaning the floor with the other.   It is the doctor.  He asks her to let you know he called.   Later that evening, one of the kids trips on toys left out and bumps his head pretty hard.  The sitter is holding an ice pack on his swelling lump.    When you get home the babysitter tells you immediately about the lump on little Johhnny’s head, and then she explains about the spilled milk and broken glass.  Unfortunately, she has completely forgotten the phone call due to the chaos at the time the call came in. 
• You are out at a fundraiser and end up in late night construction traffic on the way home.  The sitter has an 11:00 curfew.  You realize that there’s no way you will be home any where near 11:00 so you call to let the sitter know so she can let her parents know if necessary.  You call, the phone rings 4 times and the machine picks up.  You hang up and try again – same result.  You try one more time only to get your answering machine again.
• After dinner and a movie, you are supposed to pick up Aunt Sara at the airport.  Shortly after you leave for dinner, Aunt Sara calls your house not realizing you are out, and leaves you the message on your answering machine that her flight has been delayed three hours.  After the movie, you look at your watch – perfect timing!  Aunt Sara should be collecting her luggage from the carousel.  You pull up outside the airlines (live parking only!), and expect to see Aunt Sara come through the doors any minute.  You get the point!

Have a plan!  If you want the sitter to answer the phone, leave a message pad by the phone so she can write down messages.  You might want to leave the volume up on the answering machine so that if you need to call in to speak to the babysitter, she can hear who is calling.  If the babysitter has a cell phone, you may be all set!

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Services, Babysitters, Nannies, and Au-pairs

If you’ve ever employed a babysitter or nanny, do you remember showing them where the flashlight is?  If you’ve ever babysat in another person’s home, did the parents show you where the flashlight was kept?  I have babysat for over 150 families and only in one home did the parents show me where their flashlight could be found.  

Sure, this isn’t important if:

1. It’s your house and you know where the flashlight is!
2. your house or the one you are babysitting in has a back-up generator
3. everyone is asleep when the lights go out!

But, if you have hired a babysitter for the night to care for your children and your house loses power, and none of the above apply, then things can get a little chaotic, scary, and even dangerous.   Think about how hard it is to get around in total darkness in your own home.  You probably know where your flashlight and/or candles are kept and could probably find your way to them.  But now imagine being in another person’s house that you may have only been in a couple of times before.  You would probably have a tough time finding your way around, let alone finding candles or a flashlight.

In many homes, there is a finished basement where the “playroom” is.   I recently babysat a family of 4 boys who had a room like this.  The two older boys ages 9 & 7  were down there playing.  The five year old was upstairs getting his pajamas on, and I had the baby on the main level changing his diaper.   If the power had gone out at that moment, I’m sure that at least the 5-year-old would have been scared.  I would’ve been afraid that in his attempt to get to me or his brothers, he would’ve fallen down the stairs.  The two in the basement would have been in complete darkness as there were no windows down there.  They too could’ve been injured trying to crawl over all the toys on the floor, and I would’ve been nervous trying to get around in the dark carrying the baby.

In some areas, maybe the power only goes out during storms so parents would either not be going out or would remember to leave the flashlight on the counter.  But where I live, every time someone hits a pole (which seems to happen more often than you’d think), or even during heavy rain the power goes out. 

If you are a parent, remember to show the sitter where the flashlight and/or candles are.  If you are a babysitter or nanny, you should probably bring your own flashlight along in your bag or babysitting kit, or at least remember to ask the parents where their’s is kept.

I can’t tell you how many households I’ve babysat in where the parents have their exercise equipment, body building machines, or whatever you want to call them, set up either in the same room as their children’s playroom or right in the next room with no lock on the door.  Often it is a finished basement that is set up as one large room with a designated area for the parents “gym” and then the other side is where the children’s toys are kept and where they play. 

What do you suppose is wrong with this set up?  Of all those households where I’ve babysat, guess how many I’ve seen where the children actually touch the equipment.  Answer: almost every single one!  Why is this a problem?  Thousands of children are seriously injured and even killed each year from accidents involving home gym equipment.  I think it was just this past summer that Mike Tyson’s 4 year-old daughter was killed in a treadmill accident.  It was such a horrible tragedy.  Who would expect that a treadmill could cause a child’s death?  I surely wouldn’t have.  And I’m not so sure a teenage babysitter would either.

Sometimes, sharing a room is the only option.  If you are a parent with gym equipment easily accessible to your children, then before the sitter arrives, or anytime you aren’t using the equipment, unplug electrical wires, keep long cords or wires out of reach of children, secure weights so they can’t be moved by a child and be sure there are no moving parts where a child’s fingers or hands could get stuck or crushed.  Then be sure to alert the sitter to the potential danger.  Just have her make sure that the children do not play on or around the exercise equipment.   It’s easy to say, “My children never touch anything in our home gym,” but it’s better to be safe than sorry.  Accidents aren’t usually expected.

If you are a babysitter, don’t wait for the parents to tell you to keep the children away from the gym equipment, just do it.  Even if the parents say it’s ok for the kids to play on a bench, stationary bike, treadmill etc., find something else for them to play with.  You don’t want to be the one in charge if a serious accident occurred.

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Services, Babysitting Classes, and Babysitting Tips

I have posted about this topic in the past, but I feel it can’t be stressed enough.  I want to say first that I am definitely an animal lover.  Every time I go to the mall I have to stop and see all the “babies” in the pet store and occasionally I’ll ask to play with one.  As a child, my closest friend was my cat, whom I adored everyday of his 17 years of life.  After I got married, my “first born” was a little grey and white lop-eared bunny that was a litter box trained house pet; funniest little thing ever!  And now, my family and I shower our crazy but lovable Border Collie with love and affection all the time. 

That being said, I am aware that an animal is still an animal.  Many of them act almost human and even understand many human words and gestures, but they are still animals.  For whatever reason, my dog loves everyone, but particularly babies.  She goes nuts when anyone brings a baby to the house.  She will attempt continuously to get to the baby to give it “kisses.”  But, sorry doggie, I won’t take any chances, no baby kissing for you!  I can’t even imagine how many stories you can find if you search the internet for family pets having attacked children.  Often it is for seemingly no reason.  In my town, there’s a family who’s little girl toddled over too close to the dog’s bowl and the dog turned and bit the side of her face.  Now 11 years later, after multiple plastic surgeries, the girl’s scars are still visible but minor.  Thank goodness.  Unfortunately, many stories like this end in tragedy.

So, the one time babysitters should NOT listen to the parents, is when they tell you that the dog is “fine around the baby.”  No matter what they tell you about how the baby can crawl all over the dog, pull its tail, poke its eyes etc. and the dog won’t hurt the baby, don’t take the chance.   I’m not suggesting that you argue the point with the parents.  In fact, you don’t need to say anything about it.  Just acknowledge what they say and when they leave, keep the baby away from the dog.   You don’t ever want to be the one who was in charge if the dog suddenly turned on the baby.  It shouldn’t be that much trouble to put the dog out for a while or in another room, or  just keep the baby away from the animal while you’re on duty. 

I’m sure there are many people out there who will read this post and think “Our dog would NEVER hurt anyone,” or “Our children always climbed all over the dog, put their hands in her mouth, and sat on her back, and she never so much as growled at them.”  For you people, I am so happy for you that you never had to experience a child being attacked, mauled, or even just nipped by your pet.  But, most of the people out there who unfortunately had a pet that attacked, mauled, or bit their child, felt the same way about their dog and never thought in a million years that their beloved pet would hurt a child.  For those people, my heart aches.

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Services, Classes, and Tips

Many parents will ask the babysitter or nanny when they get home “How were the children?”  Some don’t ask, some don’t care, but most sincerely want to know how well their children behaved.  If you think the kids will like you better if you don’t report their bad behavior to their parents – you are totally wrong!  Even worse, they won’t respect you.  They’ll know that they can do what ever they want when the parents walk out the door, because you won’t tell! 

I’m not saying you have to report every tiny detail so that you feel like a “tattle tail.”  But, if you at least give the parent’s a general idea of how things went, then you may get a little more respect from the children next time.  Also, when you correct them, they’ll listen.

If you tell little Johnny it’s time for bed and he keeps running away from you and trying to hide, then proceeds to jump on the bed, ending with a chant of “you’re not the boss of me” and refusing to lay down, then you should mention this to the parents.  When a child protests bedtime by just begging for a few more minutes but then reluctantly goes to bed, it’s not a major offense.  However, if you feel like you need a horse, some rope, and some rodeo style riding skills to get little Johnny into bed, then his parents should know about it.

If you do ever need to report on poor behavior (and even if you don’t), try to mention the positive behaviors that took place as well.  You could say something like, “Johnny did a great job helping little Emily set up her new kitchen set.  He was so patient with her and even played with her for a while.  But, he wasn’t happy when it was time to go to bed and he kept running away from me and hiding.”  It is not that you should be trying to “sugar coat” the situation, but you want the parents to know that you do notice the good behaviors as well.  All parents enjoy hearing nice things about their children and it will be a good reflection on you to let them know you noticed the good points too.

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Services, Classes, and Tips