Baby Sitting World

When babies start moving and getting around on their own, you can’t let them out of your site for a second.  Whether they walk, crawl, or even just scoot on their bottoms, they can move very quickly.  And, it seems that the things they find the most interesting are either the most dangerous or simply the things you want them to touch the least.

Babysitters beware!  Parents and nannies that are with the children every day are more aware of what they will get into because they see a gradual transition.  But a babysitter, who last time she babysat needed to carry the baby, can be caught off guard when suddenly the same baby is traveling from room to room within seconds on her own.  

If the family has a dog or cat, the food and water dishes are often favorite places to play for babies who are just becoming mobile.  Another favorite is the toilet!  Though you may think it’s disgusting, babies have great fun dropping things into it, putting their hands in and splashing around, and sometimes even dunking in a cup and getting a drink! 

More important are the dangerous things that babies on the go can find or get into.  Hopefully the parents have any cabinets containing dangerous chemicals locked securely.  Also beware of tablecloths or runners that hang over the edges of tables or credenzas.  Sometimes babies will grab them and attempt to pull themselves up, and inadvertently pull the tablecloth and anything on it down on top of themselves.  This can be very dangerous especially if there is anything made of glass on the tablecloth.

Something as simple as a chair, suddenly becomes dangerous as baby tries to pull herself up by grabbing onto the back of it.  Often the chair will topple over backwards onto the baby. The last big danger I will mention here is the stairs.  Babies learn to climb steps very quickly, however, their skill at coming back down takes a lot longer to master.  A fall down a flight of stairs could be nothing more than a scare, or it could be deadly depending on many different factors.

If you are a babysitter and you will be babysitting a small child who just recently started getting around on her own, ask the parents about these issues and then, as always, never let the baby out of your site.

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Services

Often times when parents drop  their child off at daycare or preschool, or even just leave the child at home with a babysitter, the child screams and cries when the parents are leaving.  I’ve seen everything from a little pouting, to screaming and crying fits that have left my ears ringing.

The good news is, nine times out of ten, the whole charade ends two minutes after the parents walk out the door.  The parents drive away feeling upset and/or guilty.  Meanwhile, the child has ended his performance and is off playing and having a great time. 

It is common for the parents to wonder if the caregiver is mistreating their child.  They can’t think of any other reason that the child would be so upset when they are leaving.  The problem is that they can’t see the child laughing and playing 2 minutes after they leave because they are already half way down the street.

I babysat for a little girl for four years.  For the first three, she would cry and throw a fit every time her mother left.  As soon as mom was gone, we had a great time.  I had never before seen a child carry on behavior like that for three years.  Usually, after just a few times or maybe as many as 5-10, the child stops the nonsense and happily kisses his or her parents good bye. 

I usually tell parents not to worry the first few times a child protests when they leave.  It probably doesn’t mean that the child is being mistreated.  But, if the child continues to get extremely upset whenever he or she is left with a particular caregiver then maybe it is time to look more closely.

Many babies who are happy in a daycare or with a certain nanny, often suddenly cry and protest when their parents leave when they reach about 18 months of age.  I had this exact experience, when a toddler in my daycare who called me “mama” and who would cry when her mom came to pick her up, suddenly around 18 months, started crying when her mom dropped her off. 

A good rule of thumb is to ask the caregiver if the child is happy and playful after a short time or does the child continue to be upset and not participate or play.  If the child does not join the other children, does not calm down, or does not warm up to the babysitter or child care provider, then the parents might want to consider an alternate plan. For the most part – sitters and parents: beware  – The Show Must Go On!!!!!

Lisa McLellan

Babysitters, Nannies, & Au-Pairs

If you are in the childcare field, it is important that you like what you do.  In order to continue to enjoy babysitting children, you have to know your limits.  Caring for larger numbers of children and also caring for babies and infants can definitely be a lot of work.  If you are fine with caring for 4-6 children at a time, that’s great!  But if three seems to be your limit, avoid accepting jobs with more than three children just to make more money.  When you do this, you soon become burnt out and begin disliking your job.  Don’t be surprised if you lose your patience twice as fast with the addition of just two more kids onto your normal load.  With the number of children you are babysitting  increased to a number beyond what you are comfortable with, you might possibly begin to resent the children, or even unintentionally take your frustrations out on them.  Another disadvantage to agreeing to babysit more children than you can handle, is that you become more restricted in your activities with the kids.  It is much easier to take 2 or 3 children to the playground than 6.

Twins, triplets, and other multiples seem so exciting because they can be slightly out of the ordinary.  But, don’t agree to babysit for them if you’ve never had experience with caring for multiples before unles you are really confident that you can do it.  You might suggest to the parents that you come over and work as a mothers helper a few times before caring for them on your own.   The benefit of this is that although you may only be getting paid half price, you’re still getting paid.   It’s like on-the-job training.  And you get to see first hand how the mother handles things.

When infants are included in your group of charges, once again everything can be more difficult.  You may have to wait for the baby to nap to play with the other children or prepare snacks or meals for them.  And if the baby decides she’s not going to nap that day, you may be in for a rough ride.  Also, it is tough to keep a safe watch over the other children when you are trying to care for an infant.  Some people are very skilled at handling multiple children of different ages at the same time, but if you aren’t one of them, know your limits.  By taking on only babysitting or nanny jobs that you know you can handle, both you and the children will have a much more enjoyable experience.

Lisa McLellan

Child Care Expert

Why bother talking to infants and small babies when they can’t understand you anyway?  Whether you are a parent, sibling, babysitter, or any other kind of caregiver, you should talk as often as possible to the baby.  You shouldn’t feel silly talking to infants and babies.  They love the attention and are slowly learning spoken language. 

If you are making lunch, and it is just you and the baby in the kitchen, just talk about what you are doing.  If you are thinking about what you will be doing while the baby naps, think out loud or tell the baby.  You can even read the food labels out loud if you are both in the grocery store.  Even if you can’t think of anything to say, sing a little song or nursery rhyme.  It may feel odd at first but you will quickly get used to it, and the benefits are huge.

It’s so easy to talk “baby talk” to babies, and it is fun to mimic a toddler’s words.  But, you should try to refrain from mispronouncing words on purpose.  The baby/child is learning from you all the time and so if you mispronounce words, so will he.   When your child or the child you are babysitting mispronounces a word, repeat the sentence back three times pronouncing the work correctly.  For example, my son said to me one day, “I wike dat!”  So I said, “You like that? Why do you like that? Do you like that because it tastes like your favorite cereal?”

The more you talk to the baby, the faster he will understand and learn to speak himself.  So chat away to the little ones and save the silence for sleep!

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Tips, Jobs, and Classes

To all of the wonderful nannies and babysitters out there:  though the parents and guardians you work for are thrilled that you truly love and care about their children, keep them entertained, teach them, and play with them all day long, remember that they have been working hard all day as well, and would prefer not to come home to a virtual disaster area.   

Often times the result of a day packed with playing , making crafts,  baking treats, putting on puppet shows, making mud pies etc. is a very messy house.  You don’t need to be the “maid” unless housekeeping is part of your agreed upon duties.  But, if the mess was made while you were on duty, then you should clean it up. 

If the children are old enough, employ their help and pick up the toys shortly before the parents are due to arrive home.  If you have been to the beach or playing in the dirt, clean up any debris that may have made it into the house.  If you clean up after each activity, it won’t take much time and the mess won’t get out of control.  It is extremely frustrating for parents to come home to a mess after they have put in a full day at work.

Next, if the children have been playing outside, finger painting, or getting themselves dirty or messy in any other way, try to have them cleaned up before mom and dad come through the door.  When parents are separated from their children all day long, most times they can’t wait to get home and give their kids a great big hug and kiss.  The parents will certainly appreciate not having to wash paint, dirt, etc. off their children’s hands and faces before being able to hug and kiss them.

Finally, be considerate of meal times even if you won’t be there.  Find out what time the family usually eats dinner.  If it is relatively soon after you leave, then be sure to only allow light snacks late in the afternoon.  Being thoughtful and considerate of homecoming time each day will only make the parents appreciate you more!

Lisa McLellan
Babysitting Services, Classes, and Tips

Often times children act without thinking things through.  Sometimes these actions can have horrific consequences resulting in the death of a child.  Last year a child was killed in a nearby town when he ducked under the gates to cross the railroad tracks on his bike instead of waiting for the gate to go up.  The gate was still down because after one train had passed another train was coming in the opposite direction, blocked from view by the first train.  It was very tragic.  The child didn’t think about why the gates would still be down.

When children misbehave, they are often acting without thinking things through or are merely reacting to a situation.  Most of the time, a child will do the right thing when given the opportunity.  If a child takes a toy away from another child, sometimes the parent’s or caregiver’s reaction is to take the toy away from the child and give it back to the one that had it first.  But if the parent talks to the child and explains why it was wrong for the child to just take the toy and point out the other child’s feelings, many times the child will give the toy back on his own and learn an important lesson.

When you give a child a warning of what the negative effects of his actions will be, he has the chance to correct his own behavior.   It gives him the power of choice – he can choose to do the right thing or the wrong thing.   Handing out a punishment without warning after the ”crime” has been committed is less effective in teaching the child to make the right choice.  

One warm summer day when I was running a family daycare in my home, the children were finger painting out on the deck.  While my back was turned, a couple of the kids discovered that the gelatenous finger paint could be picked up in hunks and when thrown at the side of the house, made lovely “splotches” of color all over the wall.  Of course they didn’t consider how much work it would be to clean up or how wasteful it was etc.  We had a discussion about it and they spent quite sometime helping me clean it up.

The next time we did fingerpainting on the deck I could hear the quiet discussion and giggles about how they were throwing the paint on the house the last time they were using the fingerpaints.  This time I gave them a choice.  I told them that if they wanted to keep the paint on the paper, we would be making cardboard frames and hanging up the pictures for visiting day. Then they could take them home when visiting day was over. Next, I explained that if they wanted to throw paint at the house again, they would have no picture to hang up on visiting day, they would spend the afternoon cleaning off the house again, and they would not be allowed to use the finger paints anymore. 

Of course – no paint was thrown at the house and we had lovely unique finger paintings to decorate the playroom for visiting day!

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Services, Classes, and Tips

There’s no lesson or tip here tonight, just a story!

A few years ago I had been getting called to babysit for a new family 2 – 3 times a week.  The family had 3 little boys, one four-years-old, and a set of twins 3-years-old.  Unfortunately, one of the twins had severe cerebral palsy.  They needed me to babysit so often because the mom needed to take (Bobby) the son with cerebral palsy to many special doctor’s appointments and physical therapy appointments etc.  So, I only babysat the other two boys.

One weekend the parents went out of town and the grandparents were taking care of the children.  The grandfather was a well known surgeon and he and his wife had a big event to attend in Boston that Saturday night.  When I got the call to babysit, I thought the owner of the agency said that the grandparents would be putting Bobby to bed and I would just need to take care of the other two as usual. 

When I arrived at their home, I soon found out that it was just the opposite!  I had to take care of Bobby and the other two were in bed.  I didn’t know what to do.  I was scared.  I wanted to leave.  I didn’t want to take care of him, I had no experience at all with physically disabled children, let alone a child as severely disabled as Bobby.  All kinds of thoughts were going through my head.  I was even considering telling them that I suddenly felt ill and had to leave. 

But, before I could say or do anything, Bobby’s grandfather started giving me instructions on how to care for him.  He showed my how to hold him upright supporting his head at the same time.  Then he showed me how to hold Bobby’s mouth closed around a straw so he could drink.  He told me that Bobby had a cold and a pretty bad cough but not to let it scare me.  He also told me that Bobby was as bright as any other kid his age but his body just didn’t work the same way.  I was trying to pay attention to everything he told me but I just wanted to run away.  I was so sure that I was not qualified to do this.  I was actually thinking that it was irresponsible of them to leave him with someone as unqualified to care for him as I was.

Then the grandfather put him on the floor and propped his head up on some pillows.  He told me Bobby could watch tv until bedtime and then he and his wife left.  I was so nervous. 

Bobby had almost no control over his body at all.  His arms would just randomly flail in the air and he couldn’t really talk.  The family could make out a few words but I couldn’t.  His uncontrolled movements kept causing him to slide off the pillows so I just kept adjusting him so he could see the tv.  I looked down at Bobby and wondered to myself how his family knew that he was bright, how did they know he understood them.  He could barely say anything recognizable and he just layed there uncontrollably jerking from time to time.  I kept watching the clock as the time slowly ticked by.  

Finally, I said “Ok Bobby, looks like it’s time for bed!”  All of a sudden, he purposely turned his head in my direction and for a brief second looked me right in the eyes and said “No!” clear as a bell!!!  I burst out laughing.  He WAS in there!  He DID understand!  And he knew he did not want to go to bed!  There were tears in my eyes.  He smiled when I laughed. 

Just then he coughed.  He coughed a loud, deep, choking type of cough.  It scared me and I said “Holy Moly, did that come out of you?  Don’t do that again, you scared me!”  And Bobby started laughing.  It was so beautiful to see him laugh.  So now that I connected with him, I wanted to play with him.  I wanted to hear him laugh again.  I pretended to pull the cough out of his mouth and throw it out the window.  Then I pretended it was stuck and I had to tug and tug to get it out.  Sometimes I’d pretend it was very slippery and I kept dropping it.  Then I tried to crush it on the floor.  Bobby laughed and laughed; it was so precious.  When it was about 45 minutes past bedtime, I finally carried him upstairs and put him to bed.  I kissed him on the forehead and said “good night little guy, and thank you.” 

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Services, Classes, and Tips

Baking is an activity that is a common favorite of younger babysitters.  If you are a babysitter, you need to get permission from the parents if you are planning on using the oven and/or their ingredients to create something in the kitchen.  Be sure to ask permission before the parents leave.  Never bother the parents while they are out for such a minor request.  If the parents say it’s alright for you to bake, make sure that you follow these simple rules:

1. Use a recipe and actually create something edible - don’t just mix all sorts of  ingredients in a bowl for the fun of it.
2. Clean up everything.  This includes washing bowls, pots and pans, utensils, and measuring cups & spoons.  Also remember to wash off the counter, table, and any other surfaces you were working on.  Finally, sweep the floor thoroughly to remove any crumbs or food particles that may have fallen.
3. Use extra caution with the children around.  Small children get very excited when they are helping to bake treats and can reach for a hot pan with their bare hands, or dip their fingers in a bowl of batter while the electric mixer is still running.

One last point to remember is that just because you (and the children) baked the item, doesn’t mean that you take it home.  If you used your client’s ingredients, leave whatever you’ve made with them unless they specifically tell you to take it with you.  If you brought all the ingredients it’s ok to take it home, but it would be nice to leave some for the family since you did use their pans and oven to bake it!

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Tips, Jobs, and Classes

There’s a family I babysit for from time to time, that’s a little different from all the rest.  There are two absolutely precious children that I loved from the moment I met them.  A brother and sister 9 and 6 years old respectively.  It’s a long shift sometimes 3 p.m. to 3 a.m.  The reason it’s so long is that the dad has to work and there’s no mommy here for these beautiful and loving babies.  She passed away a few years ago, succumbing to her illness, leaving her darling family far too soon. 

I can’t help but get all choked up when I think about it.  I am so very sad for her when I think of how helpless she must have felt knowing the end was coming and there was nothing she could do, her children were too young to understand, and perhaps she was wondering if her dear sweet husband would someday find a new wife who would love her children and take care of them as she would herself. 

My heart breaks for these children who often talk about her, who miss her, and who long for their mommy.  They greet me with smiles, hugs and kisses.   Occasionally, I have to get them off the school bus.   I love to see their eyes light up when they see me in the driveway and they run to me with open arms just like my own children do.  I love them so much.

And then there’s the daddy.  He lost his wife, his partner, his everything.  Now left to care for his two small children and to try to help them make sense of all that has happened.  I always wish there was something I could do.

So there I was, a little after midnight one night, I’d cleaned up the toys, done the dishes, swept the floors, washed down the counter-tops, and I was on my third load of laundry.  I know it’s not my job, but I can’t help but feel like this guy could use a little help.  It’s no big deal to me, I’m a mommy and that’s just what I do.  I’m sure that the other “mommy babysitters” he has do the same thing.  I don’t know if he has any younger babysitters, but I know I’ve had many and I never had more than one or two clean up their own mess, let alone do the laundry.  Maybe his case is different and maybe even the younger sitters give him a hand.  But even in homes where there are two parents, I still clean up the toys after the kids go to bed, load the dishwasher, sweep the kitchen floor, and wipe off the counters.

In my new e-book for sitters, I stress cleaning up after yourself, and make it clear how much it is appreciated.  I’m sure no family is expecting sitters to do the housekeeping after the kids go to bed, but I bet it’s nice to come home to a house that is cleaner than you left it!

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Services, Tips, and Classes 

I heard someone say one time “Don’t ever help a child unless he asks you to.”  I thought that was mean at first.  Then I thought about it and suddenly I understood and couldn’t have agreed more.   Often parents, babysitters, or teachers mean well when they try to “help,” but many times they need to step back and wait until assistance is requested by the child.

Obviously I’m not talking about not helping a child in a dangerous situation.  What I’m talking about here is when a child is trying to make something or fix something and an adult comes along and says, “Here, let me help you with that.”  The child was in the process of learning.  Most learning happens by making mistakes – trial and error.  If you never let him do it himself, the chances of him learning how to do it on his own are pretty slim.

When my son was in kindergarten, his class had a holiday party.  The parents were invited to come in and help their child build a “gingerbread” house.  We used a half pint milk carton, and with cake frosting as the glue, we “glued” graham crackers to the sides and top to make it look like a house.  Then we decorated it with all types of candy to make doors, chimneys, windows, shrubs, etc. 

Not two minutes into the construction of the houses, you could hear children protesting all over the room saying things like, “I can do it,” “But I wanted it that way,”  “Can I have a turn,”  “I want to help.”  Other children just sat back with their arms crossed sulking as their well-meaning parents built their gingerbread houses for them.

Would you ever have learned how to ride a bike if you never got on it yourself?

Ever since that day, I try to remember not to interfere until my help is requested.  It can be really tough sometimes, and we really do “just want to help.”  But sometimes our help may actually be a hindrance.

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting services, tips, and classes